What Even Matters Right Now?
These days I’m getting confused about what matters. That’s not true, I am crystal clear about what matters (to me): the people close to me, and, spending my energy in a meaningful way. Obviously my pup Finn falls under the people category.
Every night for as long as I can remember, probably forever, my dreams are set in a post-apocalyptic existence. I’m used to it enough that it doesn’t scare me, but sometimes I feel like I have experience from a past life because of it. Which is hilarious because I am the biggest weenie and I have no bravery or skills.
I’m listening in on a Twitter space discussing Russia’s attacking of a Ukrainian nuclear power plant. The largest nuclear power plant in Europe. Right now a guy is saying ‘if they hit the wrong spot it will not be pretty.’ A second ago I felt relieved because the previous speaker just said that if they shut down the plant and it gets hit it won’t explode. They were scientists but this guy now sounds more operational and he seems to know better. What I know about nuclear power is that I couldn’t make it past episode 2 of the Chernobyl series on HBO.
I commonly advise people to have jugs of water for just in case [just in case hackers turn off our water, or, otherwise, SGD (shit goes down)]. I also always say keep your tank full of gas [or charged as the case may be but that may be problematic if the power grid’s out. I don’t want to sound like a crazy person but I’ve given that advice out enough that I am comfortable saying it. AND NOW WE MIGHT BE APPROACHING A TIME WHERE IT MATTERS?!
Now the speakers are arguing whether or not the US and EU are on defcon 3 and whether or not that is classified or public information. The Twitter trending page has the top headline about the Russia Ukraine conflict, and the second headline about the Kardashians. If you’ve been following along you know I love the Kardashians but also wtf planet are we on these days. Don’t Look Up is playing out in real life.
Another speaker is saying for the second time in 5 minutes ‘these are rational actors.’ That is news to me because there is one that we know is not rational (starts with a p, sounds like poutine). He said it will be like 3 Mile Island, not like Chernobyl. This is terrifying. I have no idea who I am listening to, there are 4,000 of us listening. I assume they are experts. It’s the internet they could be anybody.
Ukraine’s foreign minister tweets it will be ten times bigger than Chernobyl.
People in my local area are tweeting about the snowbanks.
Today I had a hair appointment and while I was there I was thinking about if I should do some shoe shopping this spring.
WHAT MATTERS RIGHT NOW?! One million Ukrainians are refugees right now while Russia blows through their cities. Society has been aggressively collapsing for the last 24 months (probably longer). I’m sad my dog is getting old. I’m sad I don’t see my family more often. And tomorrow I’m going to wake up and go to work and get excited about talking with colleagues and negotiating business deals. Are we frogs in boiling water? How are we supposed to mentally navigate our focus during such chaos. Has there always been this much chaos and we were just less informed? Are we addicts and victims to the 24/7 news cycle? How are we not all frozen in space and time, paralyzed in fear , (those of us who aren’t physically running for our lives) how do we exist like things are normal?
We don’t. But we persevere. We take one breath at a time. We take one step at a time. We carry on. We are humans and we are communities and we do our best and we do our work and we look out for our people. We love and are loved. That is all we can ever do.
